Last time I wrote about my sense of disconnection from my art and I’d like to thank everyone who got in touch. Your support, and knowing that many of you share my sense of disconnection, really helps. This pandemic has turned our worlds upside down in so many ways but I cannot blame my lack of connection to my art on the pandemic alone. As I wrote before there were fissures already there, I think, from the changes in my life over recent years.

So how do I reconnect? There are lots of things I could try. I could take a workshop and learn a new technique in the hope that it sparks something. I could pick a call for entry with a set theme and a deadline and force myself to work on it just to be doing something, again in the hope it sparks something. Or I could start some form of daily practice, maybe something that is outside my ‘comfort zone’ such as sketching. These methods work really well for some people but I know myself and I know that these ideas won’t work for me. I’ve worked into sketchbooks and worked to other peoples themes often enough to recognise that they are not for me.

Instead I have spent time looking back and thinking about what has worked really well for me in the past. I don’t want to reinvent myself. I am not questioning the processes I have used in the past. I am looking for new inspiration that is a better fit with my life today. I know from experience that I do not make good art if I have a great idea and start working on it straightaway. The two quilts I made in April are a good example of this. I also know that my ideas rattle around in my head and evolve best when I’m busy printing and stitching - I really don’t do sitting around waiting for the muse!

Which is a bit of a conundrum. So I have stopped thinking about finding new inspiration. Instead I am trusting my process and trying to create abstract pieces that I can fall in love with. Some may say that this is taking the easy option but honestly now is not the right time for me to work on pieces with deep meaning. I am being kind to myself. I have picked a colour family to work with that is rather lovely. I have used breakdown printing to create a palette of fabrics. I am using simple compositions, based on different width strips and simple shapes, to create a series of full sized quilts. And I’m spending many, many hours sat at my machine stitching.

Some of the fabrics I have printed so far haven’t worked and some of the compositions I’ve played with haven’t made it off my design wall. Over the last few weeks I have finished one quilt that is boring and have stopped working on another piece part way through quilting. But I am slowly working towards pieces that are interesting. I haven’t got to the ‘wow’ moment but I will keep going. I don’t know where I will end up. I may end up with a successful series of abstract pieces. Or I may start thinking about a new source of inspiration that eventually leads to new work and end up throwing these pieces away. I feel that the process I am going through needs to be a private one so I’m not going to share images until I know which way this is going. Some of you may shudder at the idea of quilts going in the bin but I see this as an investment in me. A necessary investment. And a positive focus at the end of a very difficult year.

May I take a moment to wish each of you a peaceful Christmas in which you can find moments of happiness.

All my love, Leah